i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
