Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
