things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
