Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
