My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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