I just saw a hot homeless man
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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