I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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