so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
