I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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