im drinking this country out of the recession.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
