That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
