chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
