What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
