My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
