Define "chronic" masturbator.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
