Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
