I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
