I heard we made out
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
