HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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