just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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