Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
