So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize