what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
