The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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