I need help removing her.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
