Cold hands, warm shart.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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