i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize