Barsexuality is the new black.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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