Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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