woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
