The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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