Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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