she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Duck Duck Cougar?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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