Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
