I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
