Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
