put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
