I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The struggles of a small town man whore
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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