at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
