Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
