Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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