Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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