I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
