Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
