More tranny stories later!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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