If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
