i think my mom watched the whole time
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
