he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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