Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You ate ashes out of my bong
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
