I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
