was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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