I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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