idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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