i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
