I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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