it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
