Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize