you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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