Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
