Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
