Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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