I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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