Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
