one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
