franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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