Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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