New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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