Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My bed smells like the plague
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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